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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197073">Drunk boissss</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrugsRUs/pseuds/DrugsRUs'>DrugsRUs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Underage Drinking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:28:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,306</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197073</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrugsRUs/pseuds/DrugsRUs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>ninten, ness, claus and lucas get wasted. ]</p><p> </p><p>execpt for lucas. </p><p>idk why i made this</p><p> </p><p>its like 5 AM</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Drunk Bois I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>the grammar is real bad, sry, this is like a crack fic at this point</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Updated some of dat good stuff</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every good story comes with a coolass intro, some weird words you can’t pronounce, and maybe a bad pun or two. This one, has none. its about two bois who are absoulute dumbasses.</p><p> </p><p>We start our story with these two fuckers, Ness and Ninten. I don’t know shit about game timelines, but they're both still there. Now, these assholes want to get wasted, but Ninten is like, 12, and Ness is like, 11. So they go to their stoner friend Popo, who’s the best character in Smash, but that’s not relevant.  When they get there, they start talking to Popo.</p><p> </p><p>Ness really wants to get wasted. “C’mon, Popo! I NEED ME BOOZE!” Popo looks amused, because he both admires Ness for his bravery, and also hates Ness, because only Popo gets the good shit and no one else can have it.</p><p> </p><p>Ninten is really bored. “C’mon, Popo, I want that shit.” Popo, since he’s a god amongst men, gives them a shit ton of booze.</p><p> </p><p>Since the two of them are assholes, they only invite two people with them, which is Lucas and his bro Claus. Lucas hates booze, but still goes, and Claus.</p><p> </p><p>Oh man Claus. Oh BABY! This guy is the MAN! He drinks booze, and his quote is “420 Blaze it.” this man here is the drinking MACHINE! So they get fucking wasted, and the next day, they wake up with the worst hangover ever.</p><p> </p><p>(execpt for lucas. He doesn’t drink fo shit. fucking pussy."</p><p> </p><p>Ninten’s hangover is so bad he stays in his bed for the next 2329423 weeks. Ness isn’t even conscious at this point, and Claus is like, dead to the world. How is Lucas gonna do anything? TO BEH CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Drunk Bois II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ness and ninten fight for dominace</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Right after the four dumb fucks (three, if you don’t count lucas,) got wasted, they decided they had lots of fun and wanted to do it again. Unfortunately, Ness had drank all of it when Paula had stopped replying to his texts for an hour. He had thought Paula was dumping him, but she was just asleep, soooooooooo (YOU DUMB NESS) and now they were out of booze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ninten sulked in the corner. “Goddamn it, Ness! Your girlfriend doesn't text you at 5 am, so you drink all of our booze?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ness is still drunk on the couch. “III though she was i-ignoring-</span>
  <em>
    <span>hic!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ignoring me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Claus is scowling from the TV. “Ness, we leave you with twenty four cases of booze, and you drink it all in FOUR HOURS? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ness gives Claus a drunken grin. “ANYTHI-</span>
  <em>
    <span>hic!</span>
  </em>
  <span> NG IS POSSIBLE WHEN ONE HAS-</span>
  <em>
    <span>hic!</span>
  </em>
  <span> MUCH BOOZE!” Claus groans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucas speaks up. “Ness, you are drunk right now. So please shut up.” Everyone stares at him, surprised he spoke up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Claus breaks into a grin and slaps Lucas on the shoulder. “THAT'S MY BOY!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ness groans. “How about we have a contest to see who’s more drunk. Me, or Ninten? If -</span>
  <em>
    <span>hic!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ninten wins, Claus has to dump his booze on his head. If I win, Ninten has to sit on the toilet for 1 hour straight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all grin. “Fair enough.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two minutes later, the four dumb fucks (Is that their name now?) are standing at a field. Lucas explains the rules. “Run to the other end of the field. The one that stands up straight in a single line for the whole time wins.” they both groan. Apparently somehow Ninten is also drunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Claus starts the watch. “3…2...1... GO!” the two stumble off. Lucas and Claus sit in the corner for twenty minutes, and somehow Ness wins. Claus gets up and runs around in cicles, wooping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grasps Ness’s shoulders, tears in his eyes. “WE HAVE A WINNER! WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!” Lucas rolls his eyes. Ninten is sobbing uncontrollably on the other end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NOOOOO! NOT THE TOILET FOR AN HOUR!” Grinning, Ness and Claus drag Ninten to his punishment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TO BE CONTINUTED, AGAIN!</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Drunk Bois III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Ninten served his time in the Toilet of Doom, the Four Dumb Fucks (That’s their group name now) decided to buy some with fake ID’s they bought from their friend Snake, who gave them the best shit on the market. After securing the booze in a safe (to keep Ness at bay,) the Four Dumb Fucks decided to have a party with the booze. They invited Paula and Ana, but Jeff declined the offer. Fuck him.</p><p> </p><p>The night of the party arrives in no time, and everyone is drinking, even Lucas. How, you ask? I really don't know. I can't even lift a finger against wittle lookas without the whole fucking Lucas Protection Squad busting down my door. Claus, the little shit, was currently drinking and trying to play Mario Kart but failing. Ness and Paula were… CENSORED on the sofa, and Ninten and Ana had disappeared to the twelfth dimension. Lucas was drinking, not much, but it was something. Speaking of drinking, Claus was chugging. He collapsed, but no one noticed or cared because they were all hammered. And I mean, proper drunk. Like, wasted to the point were tomorrow they would wake up with 100000 STD’s, hangovers, and other things. Lucas, was tipsy, but wasn’t over the edge. (Responsible mother fucker) Ninten and Ana came back, and both somehow had more drinks. Ness and Paula emerged from their CENSORED and rushed Ninten for the shit. They yoinked his booze and chugged. Claus was still on the floor. He was muttering something weird. </p><p> </p><p>“And that’s how I killed the Wocky Locky!” He cheered, raising a bottle then smashed his face into the carpet. Repeatedly. “BONK! BONK! BONK!” He had a nasty welt on his head. Anyways, everyone eventually is dead to the world and knocked out on the floor. And at that moment, Ness’s mom comes home. She surveys the wreckage. Ninten and Ana are asleep but somehow still making out. Ness and Paula are still CENSORED even though they’re asleep. Lucas (No the sunflower child had been hurted) is also asleep, but thankfully with his pants still on. Claus had a HUGE-ass bulge on his forehead, and he’s asleep. Ness’s mom stands there until they begin to stir.</p><p> </p><p>TO BE CONTINUED… AGAIN, AGAIN!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i deleted my work "The Encounter... Again, because i felt like it wasnt getting enough views, and i generally didn't like it. so i might repost it somwhere else, idk, if you want to read it then feel free to ask.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Drunk Bois IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>last one</p><p>hope you enjoyed this shitshow</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the party ends, and they start to wake up, first thing they see is Ness’s mom.<br/>They have different reactions. Ninten and Ana break apart, because Ana is chirstian and she already done fucked up being with Ninten. I’m not even gonna describe what Ness and Paula are up to, because if I did, my computer would probably explode with lemons. Claus doesn’t even know that she’s there, and continues to try and get up, but with no gain whatsoever. Lucas, the pussy, already is making apologies for the mess, because he’s innocent as fuck. Ness’ mom is like: “Oh, NOW YOU DONE FUCKED UP!” </p><p>	After the Great Mom Attack of 2020, Ness and Ninten have moved in together (No Homo) And Lucas and Claus decide to get their shit together and move in with them (Again, no homo) and the four bois live a good four years. Until one day they decide to take another path on the road to a shop where they sell weapons to people. Ness buys a shotgun, Ninten a rifle, Claus a FUCKING MACHINE GUN and Lucas, the fucker, buys a.... Grenade. Lame.</p><p>	And they go shoot up a walmart. Then they go to jail. Ness gets 40 years for 5 murders, Ninten 60 years for 7 kills,  and Claus Lifetime for 23019893 deaths, 1342 wounded, and 934321 M.I.A. Lucas gets 1 year. Because he threw a weapon. And blew up half of walmart.</p><p>	The four die, (Except for Lucas, until Lucas gets a stroke and keels over and dies.)<br/>And, so the story ends.</p><p>No seriously, I’m done.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and, goodbye.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if u want more, leave kudos and comment</p></blockquote></div></div>
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